The definition of self-esteem is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself or a confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.
We all lack it sometimes. And some of us have more than others. It is that inner voice telling us we are worthy (or for some not worthy). It has nothing to do with how intelligent we are or how talented we are but more to do with how we approach a situation.
So, what does it look like to live a life full of high self-esteem and what are some of the ways to improve it.
We will begin with the benefits
- You have the confidence to be yourself and you do not feel you need to alter who you are or what you believe in to satisfy others.
- You are able to accept disagreement without it concerning you. You do not feel you need to agree with others for acceptance.
- You do not require the approval of others as you are happy with who you are. You realise you cannot please everyone all the time.
- You do not feel the need to be perfect as you realise that this is pretty unobtainable, beside the mistakes we make are what make us the person we become.
- You accept that everyone makes mistakes and you don’t hold grudges against people for making them.
- You are more optimistic and have a positive outlook on life as opposed to a pessimistic view often held by those suffering from low self-esteem.
- You do not fear uncertainly and in fact embrace change and new opportunities and look forward to seeing the outcome of these, even when you don’t know what that outcome may be.
- You accept that you do not know everything and are open to learning. You realise life is a journey and there is a lot to discover so you keep an open mind, so you are open to opportunities to gain more knowledge.
There are many reasons why people suffer from low self-esteem, but it does not have to stay that way. There are many tools and techniques that can be used to improve it but mostly it comes down to consistency.
Here are some tips to help improve your self esteem
- Watch your internal dialogue – yes that little voice inside that wants to bring you down or make you feel unworthy. When that chatter starts up, just stop for a moment and take a breath. Try to think of a time when you did feel happy and confident.
- Change your routine. Add exercise into your weekly routine. It has been proven time and time again that getting the endorphins pumping increases our sense of self-worth.
- Don’t be a complainer. This just reinforces the negative feelings that you are having. Also complaining to other people can create isolation as others do not want to be around someone who is always negative.
- Do not be critical of yourself (easier said than done sometimes I know). Be kind to yourself and realise that you can’t change everything overnight. It is all about small steps and being consistent. Make a list of your good qualities and focus on them instead of what you are not so good at.
- Take time out and learn to relax. Give yourself time each day just for you. It may be reading a book or going for a walk, or doing the gardening. And it does not have to be for a long time. Learn to unwind.
- Remember to treat yourself every once in a while. This is giving you the permission to let you know you are worthy. It is taking time out to say – hey I deserve this reward just as much as anyone else.
Remember improvements come in small steps, unfortunately not overnight. But anything we have to work hard at is always so much more rewarding anyway and has longer lasting results than instant success!!